When they put it in the water...

We knew it was for the best.

There is a lot to be said about a person by the way they cut grass.

I had never given too much thought to it before last night, when somebody at a party made a comment about the two types of people in the world: 

1) The ones who cut their grass in straight lines, to-ing and fro-ing. Walking back and forth, and back and forth. And back. And forth. 

2) The ones who cut the perimeter first. Circling like mechanical vultures with no real prey in sight. Or like Pac-men with razor sharp teeth; the patch of unwittingly resilient grass in the center of the yard growing smaller all the while. Like the green eye of a dying hurricane.

But really.

There are a million ways to cut your grass.

And there is nothing important to be learned by studying any of them.

Just cut your fucking grass.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

NOBODY BE PENNIES.

Will there be curses in my Eulogy?

I fucking hope so.

Happy Birthday to the Wolf.

If you ever become a professional wrestler,

I will still be friends with you.

But if you try to put me in a sleeper-hold,

the deal is off.

You and Me

We shot at the windows of the cars on your street

using your older brother's slingshot

filled with week old fruit salad

and boiled eggs

and raw eggs too.

We didn't really do that.

It would've smelled awful.

A Death in late june.

When my dreams die

- as all dreams do -

I hope they go peacefully,

in their sleep.

When my dreams die

- as all dreams do -

I will wake up and wonder

if it's because I haven't been making my bed.

Not once in ten years.

or maybe it's because I stopped flossing

so long ago,

or because I go to sleep high

everynight

and they feel like maybe I don't need them anymore.

I can't really blame them.

When my dreams die

-as all dreams do-

I'll make my bed that morning.

And I'll floss.

When my dreams die

-as all dreams do-

I think I'll die too.

They've always seemed to have the right idea.

Movies.

You! Go and see Up!

Also watch Drag Me To Hell.

You can skip Year One.

I feel this way about most things.

Leaky *drip* faucet.

*Drip, drip, drip* - I should fix you.

But no! Drip some more.

If I could smash anything;

It would not be a pumpkin.

Billy Corgan?

Bitchhhh Puuuuuuhlleeeeeze.

Busy as a bee

In six hours

I've peed five times.

All for $7.75 an hour.

Which means I make $9.30

every

time

I 

pee.

We should all drink more water.

My computer froze

Microwaving it was not the ideal solution.

High coups:

It doesn't matter

If you cry from happiness.

The tears taste the same.

But through creation,

I could smoke my life away.

I'm okay with that.

The library smells,

like the worst sandwich ever.

Stale bread and book glue.

Today I made pea-

-nut butter and jelly soup.

Gross gross gross gross gross.

Walk a mile in

nothing but your birthday suit.

Don't really do that.

Iran has enough

problems without your sass-songs.

David A. Samberg.

If I had something

else to do, I probably

still wouldn't do it.

When I'm bored at work

And I drink too much coffee, I think things like:

Oh what I would give,

to be able to shoot lazers out my eyes.

The way I feel sometimes:

On the day

when the sun explodes

and the beaches all turn to glass,

and the eggs scramble themselves inside the hens,

I won't say I love you.

On the day

when the sun explodes

and the sky-lab disintegrates in space,

and all the corn, anywhere, pops at once,

I won't say anything at all.

I'll probably just sit at home

and melt to the mattress on my floor.

Shugo Tokumaru - Exit & Rum Hee

This guy like my new favorite artist. You won't be disappointed.

Rum Hee Download

Exit Download